“I dedicate this place to freedom. Though some may claim it exists to facilitate testing of wiki syntax, I know its true purpose. It is a haven for all who have wiki accounts, such that they may post whatever their heart desires.”
– Sun Tzu (Unprompted) [Sun Tzu? Is that a made up name? Who even is that?]
All the people here who bought this wireless osmium cube to admire its surreal heft have precisely the wrong mindset. I, in my exalted wisdom and unbridled ambition, bought this cube to become fully accustomed to the intensity of its density, to make its weight bearable and in fact normal to me, so that all the world around me may fade into a fluffy arena of gravitational inconsequence. And it has worked, to profound success. I have carried the osmium with me, have grown attached to the downward pull of its small form, its desire to be one with the floor. This force has become so normal to me that lifting any other object now feels like lifting cotton candy, or a fluffy pillow. Big burly manly men who pump iron now seem to me as little children who raise mere aluminum.
I can hardly remember the days before I became a man of osmium. How distant those days seem now, how burdened by the apparent heaviness of everyday objects. I laugh at the philistines who still operate in a world devoid of osmium, their shoulders thin and unempowered by the experience of bearing osmium. Ha, what fools, blissful in their ignorance, anesthetized by their lack of meaningful struggle, devoid of passion.
Nietzsche once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But a man who has a osmium cube can bear any object less dense, and all this talk of why and how becomes unnecessary.
Schopenhauer once said that every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. Osmium expands the limits of a man’s field of vision by showing him an example of increased density, in comparison to which the everyday objects to which he was formerly accustomed gain a light and airy quality. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such lightweight objects? Who can cry in a world of styrofoam and cushions?
Have you yet understood? This is no ordinary metal. In this metal is the alchemical potential to transform your world, by transforming your expectations. Those who have not yet held the cube in their hands and mouths will not understand, for they still live in a world of normal density, like Plato’s cave dwellers. Those who have opened their mind to the density of osmium will shift their expectations of weight and density accordingly.
To give this cube a rating of anything less than five stars would be to condemn life itself. Who am I, as a mere mortal, to judge the most compact of all affordable materials? No. I say gratefully to whichever grand being may have created this universe: good job on the osmium. It sure is dense.
I sit here with my osmium cube, transcendent above death itself. For insofar as this osmium cube will last forever, I am in the presence of immortality.
This place is a page, and part of a system of pages, pay attention to it!
Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be powerful GMs.
This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.
What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.
The danger is in a particular location. it increases towards a center. the center of danger is here, below this post.
The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours. The danger is to the body, and it can kill. The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.
The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place's formatting. This place is best shunned and left unedited.
NAH.
L + ratio
Below is a list of names put under consideration for the identification of FTL-Capable Starships, but were ultimately rejected. In some cases, there is a comment from the Starship Naming Committee outlining reasons for rejection.
There's gonna be a plasma storm in 47-Sethrak-B.
If I put text here does that make me first? Probably not (Dahria) – no, it does not.
FIRST <3 (– Danielle)
Hi - Connor
…third :( (Eloise) (and now with FORMATTING)
I may not be first this time, playtesters, but I'll get the last laugh – Maisie
Nevaaaa - Sophia >:3
I'm not first - but I mean - I come bringing em dashes - that should be used as en dashes - hehehehe → Heather
I am also here now – Aric
– Do you. Do you really want an essay on this.
– IS THAT HAND-HOLDING I SEE?
– AND OUT IN THE OPEN COMPLETELY UNCENSORED?!?! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO STANDARDS?!
This is for Luke, who committed mild crimes against the playground. The playground got its revenge. Lest we forget.
gukk, v.
Like fuck, but different
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne achieves narrative win conditions
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne tables Bookend
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Dark Blood Victory: Arokne conceded, due to leaving the oven on
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points
Marella (Mortons) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Morton Victory: Marella wins on points
Marella (Imperial Army) vs Bookend (Dark Bloods), Imperial Army Victory: Marella tabled Bookend on turn 2
Marella (Artworld Elfdar) vs Bookend (Dark Bloods), Elfdar Victory: Marella tabled Bookend on Bookend's turn 2
Marella (Urk Warband) vs Bookend (Dark Bloods), Dark Blood Victory: Marella gave up after Bookend charged its snipers into an Urk Murda-Killa Intestine-Rippa Nife Trukk
OL (Urks) vs Marella (Siblings of Conquest), Siblings Victory: Marella wins on points
OL (Urks) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points
OL (Urks) vs Bookend, (Dark Bloods), Dead Tie: Marella did not talk to either of them for the rest of the week
Marella (Node A) (Despotids) vs Marella (Node B) (Imperial Army), Despotid Victory: Marella (Node A) wins on points in 4101 of 8192 simulated matches.
Just you wait till Hillary I tell you, I will be able send so many emails, I will be free, my wrath will be finally unleashed
I am going to write 500 emails per downtime
All of my NPC's will write an email to all the PC's
Then I will email all crew, as every single one of my NPC's
Even the GM's won't be safe
I will Email of all of THEIR NPC's as MINE NPC's
AND I WON'T BE FINISHED THEN, I WILL WRITE EVEN MORE EMAILS AFTER THAT, MY NPC'S WILL EMAIL MY NPC'S. THEY WILL HAVE 20 EMAIL CHAIN CONVOS WITH THEMSELVES
It will be like my schedule now, but reversed. I will spend 8 hours a day on Wednesdays and Thursdays writing emails instead of essays. I will wake up at 8am, then write emails till 6pm. There will be no break, there will be no rest. That is for cowards, Emails are for warriors. It will be glorious. This is my vow. This is my mission. This is my duty.
|||| ||||
Oh my gosh is this a puss in boots from the legendary film puss in boots 2: the last wish reference?
OH NO, PUSS IN BOOTS FROM THE LEGENDARY FILM PUSS IN BOOTS 2: THE LAST WISH!!!!
anyone fancy a game of Power Glove? 100% safe, definitely not going to break anyone's arms! Might even let you (gasp) hold hands with a Sailor…
Rubbish. Who doesn't love it? Detective Garibaldi, evidently, by all of it that he's left lying around. Well, as they say, one man's rubbish is another man's rubbish, or something like that. And you're close enough to a man that you qualify (probably). After two weeks of searching and scrounging, you eventually find:
With these materials, you decide to put together a couple copies of your biography; 'Squidgy: Sailing the Seven Space Seas and Some Secrets to Salvage your Story'. Unfortunately, once it is wrapped, it looks identical to the explosives you acquired! So you decide to just send out all six packages, to be on the safe side and make sure someone gets your invaluable book.
[GM note: Players and crew involved may open the packages by messaging in their private channels]
– Honourary GM Ben C
The following is a transcript of the events occurring on the evening of the Cartographers’ Guild karaoke night, initiated by researcher Arokne Mote and Head of entertainment Humfree Didac, with Bookend on the keyboard. Documented on video camera by Head Librarian Acleaf Singreen, a digital copy has been uploaded to the Guild Network, along with this transcript, “for posterity”.
Current evidence suggests this was premeditated, although whose idea this was originally is uncertain. Whilst alcohol was provided at the event, it is unclear as to how much had been imbibed by the participants. Notably, Bookend is an artificial intelligence, and knew full well what it was doing.
[Archivist’s note: It seems unfair to single out Bookend for this incident, when all three were equally culpable.] [Archivist’s note: Notes on the report made by the subject of said report damage the academic validity of the investigation.]
Transcript begins: [The camera shows a crowd in a social area of the station. It appears to be early evening. In the centre of the frame are two individuals. Humphrey Didac and Arokne Mote. The camera is shaky, and at the bottom of the shot the backs of heads can be seen, as if the camera were being held by a member of the crowd. The video begins with Humfree singing with piano accompaniment to the tune of the Galaxy Song, originally by Carlo Javascript. Parts of speech being sung will be denoted by italics]
Humfree: Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving And revolving at point 4 kilometres a second,
Arokne: (interjected) Approximately.
Humfree: That's orbiting at thirty kilometres a second,
Arokne: or so…
Humfree: (Visibly annoyed) so it's reckoned, A star that is the source of all our power.
Arokne: Well that’s just not true, is it. ‘Cause there’s uranium in the core of Khartes, isn’t there, which is the source of about half the energy heating the planet. Not to mention the energy in the starships orbiting with us, which normally take nuclear fuel from Corico or the Thousand Colours Moon, rather than native to our–
Humfree: (Interrupting) The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see Are moving at a 16 million kilometres a day.
[Inaudible corrections from Arokne]
In an outer spiral arm, at 13 kilometres a second
[Humfree turns to Arokne]
Arokne: Yes!
Humfree: Of the galaxy we live in today./
[Cheers are heard from the audience]
Humfree: [not singing] That’s right, isn’t it?
Arokne: Yes, it’s right!
Humfree: I thought it was 18 kps?
Arokne: Well [wiggles her hand]… only about 25% out. But we do live in the galaxy.
Humfree: Ok, thank you.
[Piano music resumes.]
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know,
8 thousand metres a day and that's the fastest speed there is.
Arokne, in disbelief: Hang on. 8 kilometres a day?.
Humfree: Was it by the second?
Arokne: The speed of light is thirty thousand kilometres per second. Not 8 thousand metres a day. That’s so… insanely slow. Is that what it actually says in the lyrics?
Humfree: [points to Bookend] He’s a musician, he doesn’t know how the fuck it works. What would you like me to say?
Arokne: Well, three hundre– the speed of light.
Humfree: Which is?
Arokne: Three hundred thousand kilometres a second.
Humfree: [Looking over at Bookend] Three hundred thousand kilometres a second, which is as fast as it can go.
So re– Where are we?
Bookend: Verse 2
Humfree: What is that?
[Unintelligible conversation, as audience laughs and Arokne picks up a songbook that fell off the keyboard stand]
Arokne: [reading the back] It says here it has complete instructions on how to play the piano at the end.
Humfree: The station and you and me and all the stars that we can see Are moving at [here he cuts off, and jams the microphone in front of Arokne’s mouth]
Arokne: Well it depends on what star and–
Humfree: Very very fast every fucking day! As fast as it can go, the speed of light you know–
Arokne: It- It can go faster than that. So if you can build a ring of negative mass matter large enough, it can theoretically warp spacetime, meaning you create a sort of bubble you can…
[The music plays over the top of Arokne’s speech, as she continues to talk, as Humfree looks disgruntled.]
… but the difficulty of this is, you need an awful lot of energy to make the amount needed to accelerate anything larger than a few grams, so for all intents and purposes, currently that’s true.
Sorry, carry on. I just want to have a look at what the Galaxy Song says about the speed of light.
[Arokne continues to thumb through the music book.]
Humfree: Come on, let’s go to the last verse, shall we, before she gets to the end of the book.
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
Oh we’ve done this bit, haven’t we.
As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know,
[To Bookend] What’s the last verse?
Arokne: No, I’ve got it here, here. That is the last verse.
Humfree: Yeah?
Arokne: Where’s the speed of light? [Humfree crosses his arms] The- The reason you couldn’t remember the lyric is cause it’s not in here.Look! There’s no statement of the speed of light in the lyric! Who wrote this?
Humfree: No, there. “300 million kilometres a second, that’s the fastest speed there is”.
Arokne: [sounding a little surprised] That’s right!
[Humfree raises his arm in the air in triumph]
There’s a difference between 3×10^8 metres a second, and 8 kilometres a day, you know?!
Humfree: I liked the part where you said “That’s right”. Three hundred billion metres a second?
Arokne: It’s a factor of a hundred million out!
Humfree: Not in the book!
Arokne: No-
Humfree: Stop complaining and we’ll finish the song.
Together: So remember, when we’re in such an enormous galaxy,
Drawn from our three planetary nations,
We pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all here on the Station!
[Camera feed cuts out to laughter from the crowd.]