Table of Contents

Playground

“I dedicate this place to freedom. Though some may claim it exists to facilitate testing of wiki syntax, I know its true purpose. It is a haven for all who have wiki accounts, such that they may post whatever their heart desires.”

– Sun Tzu (Unprompted) [Sun Tzu? Is that a made up name? Who even is that?]


Osmium Cube Review

All the people here who bought this wireless osmium cube to admire its surreal heft have precisely the wrong mindset. I, in my exalted wisdom and unbridled ambition, bought this cube to become fully accustomed to the intensity of its density, to make its weight bearable and in fact normal to me, so that all the world around me may fade into a fluffy arena of gravitational inconsequence. And it has worked, to profound success. I have carried the osmium with me, have grown attached to the downward pull of its small form, its desire to be one with the floor. This force has become so normal to me that lifting any other object now feels like lifting cotton candy, or a fluffy pillow. Big burly manly men who pump iron now seem to me as little children who raise mere aluminum.

I can hardly remember the days before I became a man of osmium. How distant those days seem now, how burdened by the apparent heaviness of everyday objects. I laugh at the philistines who still operate in a world devoid of osmium, their shoulders thin and unempowered by the experience of bearing osmium. Ha, what fools, blissful in their ignorance, anesthetized by their lack of meaningful struggle, devoid of passion.

Nietzsche once said that a man who has a why can bear almost any how. But a man who has a osmium cube can bear any object less dense, and all this talk of why and how becomes unnecessary.

Schopenhauer once said that every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. Osmium expands the limits of a man’s field of vision by showing him an example of increased density, in comparison to which the everyday objects to which he was formerly accustomed gain a light and airy quality. Who can lament the tragedy of life, when surrounded by such lightweight objects? Who can cry in a world of styrofoam and cushions?

Have you yet understood? This is no ordinary metal. In this metal is the alchemical potential to transform your world, by transforming your expectations. Those who have not yet held the cube in their hands and mouths will not understand, for they still live in a world of normal density, like Plato’s cave dwellers. Those who have opened their mind to the density of osmium will shift their expectations of weight and density accordingly.

To give this cube a rating of anything less than five stars would be to condemn life itself. Who am I, as a mere mortal, to judge the most compact of all affordable materials? No. I say gratefully to whichever grand being may have created this universe: good job on the osmium. It sure is dense.

I sit here with my osmium cube, transcendent above death itself. For insofar as this osmium cube will last forever, I am in the presence of immortality.

A Warning, to All who would Post Here

This place is a page, and part of a system of pages, pay attention to it!

Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be powerful GMs.

This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.

What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.

The danger is in a particular location. it increases towards a center. the center of danger is here, below this post.

The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours. The danger is to the body, and it can kill. The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.

The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place's formatting. This place is best shunned and left unedited.

NAH.

L + ratio


Rejected FTL Ship Names

Below is a list of names put under consideration for the identification of FTL-Capable Starships, but were ultimately rejected. In some cases, there is a comment from the Starship Naming Committee outlining reasons for rejection.


Shipping Forecast

There's gonna be a plasma storm in 47-Sethrak-B.


HELLO, WORLD!

If I put text here does that make me first? Probably not (Dahria) – no, it does not.

FIRST <3 (– Danielle)

Hi - Connor

…third :( (Eloise) (and now with FORMATTING)

I may not be first this time, playtesters, but I'll get the last laugh – Maisie

Nevaaaa - Sophia >:3

I'm not first - but I mean - I come bringing em dashes - that should be used as en dashes - hehehehe → Heather

I am also here now – Aric


Someone Write An Essay On This

– Do you. Do you really want an essay on this.

– IS THAT HAND-HOLDING I SEE?

– AND OUT IN THE OPEN COMPLETELY UNCENSORED?!?! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO STANDARDS?!


This is for you, Luke

This is for Luke, who committed mild crimes against the playground. The playground got its revenge. Lest we forget.


Dictionary Corner

gukk, v.

Like fuck, but different

Cartographers' Guild Battlemace Tally

Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne achieves narrative win conditions
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne tables Bookend
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Dark Blood Victory: Arokne conceded, due to leaving the oven on
Bookend (Dark Bloods) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points

Marella (Mortons) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Morton Victory: Marella wins on points
Marella (Imperial Army) vs Bookend (Dark Bloods), Imperial Army Victory: Marella tabled Bookend on turn 2
Marella (Artworld Elfdar) vs Bookend (Dark Bloods), Elfdar Victory: Marella tabled Bookend on Bookend's turn 2
Marella (Urk Warband) vs Bookend (Dark Bloods), Dark Blood Victory: Marella gave up after Bookend charged its snipers into an Urk Murda-Killa Intestine-Rippa Nife Trukk

OL (Urks) vs Marella (Siblings of Conquest), Siblings Victory: Marella wins on points
OL (Urks) vs Arokne (Muon Empire), Muon Victory: Arokne wins on points
OL (Urks) vs Bookend, (Dark Bloods), Dead Tie: Marella did not talk to either of them for the rest of the week

Marella (Node A) (Despotids) vs Marella (Node B) (Imperial Army), Despotid Victory: Marella (Node A) wins on points in 4101 of 8192 simulated matches.


You May Regard This As A Promise

Just you wait till Hillary I tell you, I will be able send so many emails, I will be free, my wrath will be finally unleashed

I am going to write 500 emails per downtime

All of my NPC's will write an email to all the PC's

Then I will email all crew, as every single one of my NPC's

Even the GM's won't be safe

I will Email of all of THEIR NPC's as MINE NPC's

AND I WON'T BE FINISHED THEN, I WILL WRITE EVEN MORE EMAILS AFTER THAT, MY NPC'S WILL EMAIL MY NPC'S. THEY WILL HAVE 20 EMAIL CHAIN CONVOS WITH THEMSELVES

If I do not receive a response, I will write the response myself, I will RP as your character to continue the email chain

It will be like my schedule now, but reversed. I will spend 8 hours a day on Wednesdays and Thursdays writing emails instead of essays. I will wake up at 8am, then write emails till 6pm. There will be no break, there will be no rest. That is for cowards, Emails are for warriors. It will be glorious. This is my vow. This is my mission. This is my duty.


CAMPO Kill Counter

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anyone fancy a game of Power Glove? 100% safe, definitely not going to break anyone's arms! Might even let you (gasp) hold hands with a Sailor…